Image provided by: Siuslaw Pioneer Museum; Florence, OR
About The West. (Florence, Lane County, Or.) 1890-1921 | View Entire Issue (July 2, 1897)
PR PR ^7V ^V^V^V/-T\ -ÜÇ * 7K * * * * * * * * J4r Mrx^ Afe-ikr xfc-.Me’ .\tf .u< x^ .u< x¿< \/^ \^-.Ur .tfir A^ Mf Afc* xtr .Me1 .\t-xtr Afe-.U /.\^ u - u<.\^ u - .u/ ur ^7^ - tv -71 ^7v /- tv -Tv *Ti PR *rv *Tf ^/v ^Jv PR PR PR PR PR PR PR PR PR PR PR PR PR PR PR PR *R * * * * * rakccCv&U * * * __ _ u< a - ue.ur PR PR PR PR PR PR PR PR CURl CONSTIPATION ABSOLUTELY GUARAHTEED ï ALL druggists ¡ î pie«»,I booklet free. AS. STKBI.IJi« KXVKI1I CO., (’hirsvu, « oiitr.nl. fan .. or Nf o lurx. LOVE’S YOUNG DREAM. I t ge«*nu*tl F»«Uu< A «ray, b u t M I m M e r e ly AXlauutfcntood H im . 4N IDEAL BACHELOR. Siulff A W RITER W HO UNO ERTAKESTO TELL A .L ABOUT HIM. Three ★ Desirable -NDV CATHARTIC Stars in * * f»T ¡r . T w o F riend ». The late Mr. H G. Bunner, tho editor of Puck, nud Lawrence Hutton were the closest of frieuds They began says Mr. Hutton, in his sad reminiscence of his dead friend, publi-hed in The I' i»k- man, in that oftcu desiriLL g II* "with a little aversion.” E i d even an introdn tiou to the • .. r 1 i! fate actually threw them together, 3t to be parted more. 'Ibeir mutual “ good tim es” were dear at the m o m iu t nnd “ pleasant, too, to think on.' There Was much “ excellent fooling” there, nnd when Hutton was murried it but added a third desirable member to 1 lie company. The marriage itself shows on what terms of happy nonsense they lived. Mr. Hutton says: He and Mr. Telford and I spent to- gather at tho Westmoreland and iu Bunner’s rooms the la_t evening of my single life. He hud heurd that luck would be insured if the gro m, ou the occasion of his marriage, would wear “ someihing old, something new, some thing borrowed and something blue.” He urged, therefore, my appearance next day iu a pcir of socks procured es pecially by him for me. O ue was abso lutely unworn, the 01 her had seen serv- ico and was darned, but they were both blue And I must borrow them Mr. Tclfcrd, I rtuiem' er, lent mo a necktie for the same purpose, and both of those dear boys were married, wheu their time came, in something blue that was borrowed from me. When Bunner was married, we sent his wifo a traveling clock as a wedding gift, to which I attached a card Learing these lines: ★ w MEN ANTED—FAITHFUL A R id e F o r R e p u ta tio n . While they were discussing tho melee t T or women to travel lor re- in the school board the head of a big sponsible established house in Oregon manufacturing establishment was moved Salary $780 and expenses. Position to relate this experience: permanent. Reference. Enclose self- ” 1 was once a pedagogue myself. I addressed stamped envelope. The had resolved to do something worth National. Star Insurance Bldg., Chicago. w hile in the business world, and having no capital except what was wrapped up Justice In the Rough. in my person I taught school to get a “ We used to call him the cactus edi starter. I had some advanced students tion of Blackstone, ” said the major, and had to skirmish iu order to* keep up who hud lived iu Texas long enough to w ith the procession. One day the whole make a fortune, “and tho blind eyed class was stumped by an arithmetical goddess never had a moro peculiar rep problem, and so was I. In order to gain resentative. The law never bothered time for myself I camo the old dodge of him a bit, but he reverenced equity. telling them liow much better it would be if they would work out the solution He had a dignity all his own, but never for themselves and gave them another sllowed it to interfere with his love of a joke. day. “ ‘How old are you?’ asked one of the “ That night, behind locked doors and closed blinds, I worked iu fear and per lawyers of a venerable spinster ou the spiration. From the bottom of my trunk Itand. “ ‘I was born in ’46,’ she snapped. I took a key to tho arithmetic, hut even " ‘B. O. or A. D. ?' quickly asked the with that aid I failed to master the problem. By midnight I was desperate. |udge. Anil tho muture maiden disowned It would never do to let the scholars, her brother because he would not chal the parents and the whole cruel world lenge the court. " ‘Is this your first offense?’ he asked know that I was not equal to my posi tion. But i t ’s net iu my make up to sur if a convicted horse thief. "Ou being assured that it was, the render while there’s a fighting chance. ‘ ‘At the town, ten m iles away, there Judge said, ’Then I w ill only give you was a loyal and highly educated friend 89 years instead of 100, as I would have of mine. He would help me and say done had you been an old offender. ’ “ A miller had bought ten barrels of nothing. It was one of the bitterest January nights I ever knew. But I slip apples from a farmer and brought ac ped to the barn, appropriated a horse, tion to recover ou a claim that the bar made a ride more notable than many of rels were undersized, causing him a loss these immortalized in song or history, □f three bushels on tlie deal. “ ‘How did you get the barrels?’ asked froze my ears and toes and had m y vocal the court of the fanner. powers reduced to a whisper. “ ‘Bought them full of flour from the "B ut you should have heard my w his pered explanation of (hat problem and miller. ’ ’ ‘ Wherenpcu the court gave the farmer my regrets th u t none of tho pupils had a verdict and taxed the costs againat the mastered it /”— Detroit Free Press. miller. ”—Detroit Froe Press. She bud met him at the door w ith a loviug kiss, but a moment later, when they hail taken seats in the parlor, she rapidly removed the six engagement H ow H e M ust lire»« a u .l th e R a le s o f Con- d u ct l i e M u tt O b se rv e to lie C laascd m rings be bail given her and handed them a " C o m p le te B a c h e lo r ” — H is M anner over with the remark: W ith Lad if* an d S ervan ts. “ Mr. .Samuel X. Johnsing, I ’ze frew w id yo’ and y o ’r deceit, and yo can eon- There are those who would say that a I der our engagement dun busted in bachelor has no business to be complete; tw o." “ W-wltatl” ho gasped as the jewelry that it is tho duty of every young man dropped from his trembling hand and to marry at the earliest practicable mo great iieads of perspiration came out on ment and so give over tho selfish joys his forehead. “ H aiu’t yo’ my true lnh of b:iehelorhood. But as long as young men in their lamentable desire to be no m o’?” “ No, sab .” site replied coldly. "A comfortable refuse to look at the matter mun may ileeeib dis lady onoe, but do in that light there is need that they second time she’s gwine to diseert her should be duly instructed in the proper ties of their position, and what better self. ” "B-but, muh angel,” he stammer instructor could they have than the Sola W ith ed, “ w ho’s bin puttin dis trash in y o ’r anonymous genius who writes of things sweet head ’bout me deceibin y o ’?” 1 “ As Seen by H im ” in that very fash- " N o one, sab. I dun seen de hull iounblo publication, Vogue? It is he who tells them what “ (he complete bach th in g w id my own tw o eyes. ” “ B-but liow ’d I do it, muh lubbly elor” should be, and if they are wise they w ill listen to his words. A ll the dream, bow’d I do it?” “ Mr. Johnsing,” she answered, “ I ’zc contingencies which arise in the social mighty young, mighty innercent, and life of the bachelor are duly considered. jus trustiu us a spring chicken, but I ’ze First, there is the matter of his public got eyes and saw' y o ’ wipin off dat kiss manners, in which many men who re I 'stowed 011 y o ’ as y o ’ come in dis gard themselves ns w ell bred are w oe fully deficient. They w ill smoke in tho euvenin. ” street, keep women standing on corners “ I— I neliber did, m uh” — “ Dis am de second time y o ’ dun dat w hile they talk to them, sit w hile wom low down trick, sah, and I can neblier en are standing, carry sticks or umbrel trust yo ’ no mo'. Huh, and only las’ las at offensive angles, stare women out night y o ’ suiil do6e kisses was dearer to of countenance at theaters or hotels, nnd in general make nuisances of them- yo' dan pigs’ foot!” j selves. Now, a bachelor who w ill do “ B-but” — For old tlmo'B salt© Will you and H. C. B. “ And den y o ’ wipe 'em off us if dey uny of these things is wretchedly in complete. At tills time take was dirt. Mr. Johnsing, leab me w hile The time from mine nnd mo? Then cornea tho qnestion o f clothes. I slied bitter tears over my pore broken Nothing moro distinguishes the gentle Time is, time was. heart.' ’ Let time be old or now, He hail been doing u deal of thinking man than what ho wears. Nor is it Thi 1 times f-r us w hile she was talking, nnd there was a enough, ns many do, to be nice in the Aru high old times with you. W a v e N a m es. look of injured innneeuee on His face as matter of gloves, shoes or cravats and To this the lady responded: A H y g ie n ic ReMtaurazit« owe largo sums to tho tailor. Dressing he stood up and said: I have a noto of some curious names I lack tho tune, in spite of thne from you, A snggestiou worthy of all praise ia 1 is not so much a mat ter of money us a "M iss Smiff. sometimes things haln’t To write the heartfelt thunks I feel ere due. given locally to the waves on different pnt forth by a contemporary journal for jes' what dey seem, anil dis am one of matter of taste. After a mnn h ut pnt But every p acin g hour wb Je time endures parts of onr coast that may be worthy ladies. It is to tlie effect that somebody de times. ’Stead of wipin off dose kisses his wardrobe in proper condition he Shall speak to mu and mine of you and yours. of record. These were culled from The None who are engaged in any of the mechanical should start a restauruut iu which the yo' speak of I was jes’ rubbiu dem in may get along remarkably w ell on a Fam ily Herald a few years ago. I can O ne o f th e R a r e st R ook s. I very sm all yearly sum . Our author docs waiters should be instructed to refuse to kuso dey was so sweet. “ pursuits can succeed without reading and Among the books of a comparatively not give the exact date. Tho names are serve uuy sequence of dishes which ob And then the cold look disappeared not disdain »0 give economical hints, curiously varied and sometimes not a receut date, if tho Revente, utli century viously make for indigestion. Oue can studying this standard Magazine of Sciences from Miss “ Sm iff's” face, the engage to tell how the tailor around Jhe corner little suggestive. Tlie Peterhead folk m ent ringM were hunted up and restored w ill do perfectly w ell some tilings for cau be described as such, is, as the E l call the large breakers that fall w ith a easily believe that the world would he nnd mechanical Arts. I t is illustrated with to .her fingers, and the lovemaking that which tho “ sw ell” tailor would charge zevir collector well knows, the famous crash on the teach by the grim name of the better, the healthier, the happier, if w ent ’ou ïiH hkt"rœ ni"during the" next ' 1-oun<!ly ’ to explain how to get out of a ‘ ‘Pâtissier Francois, ” a small duodecimo this proposal were widely carried ont. “ Norrawa (Norway) carpenters.” On all modern cuts of latest inventions in all « hour could ■ have been - heard - a -- hloek - suit the utmost possible service. Such printed by Louvsand Daniel Elzevir at the low Lincolnshire coast, as on the Men have been known, for instance, to J things are beneath no m an’s attention, Amsterdam in 1055. A faulty and poor wash down oysters with brandy and aw ay.— N ew York Sunday Journul. southwestern Atlantic fronting shore of the brandies of mechanism, and its fund of though ho bo a genius or a millionaire. réimpression of a work of little value these islands, the grandly long unbroken water, but they have always been sorry Until tho nrt of dressing properly is un issued in Paris two years previously, for it afterward. Students at tlie British T w o F a v o r it e ., waves are know’u us “ roBers. ” Among knowledge is inseparably connected with in A gentleman w alking upon tho street derstood, tho moral progress of society this book has become the most sought East Anglians a heavy surf, tumbling in museum have been observed to drink after of all he Elzevir works, just be w ill remain an idle dream. Wo need tea with veal and ham pie, and their w a s beset at tho heels by a yelping ventors and mechanics. Sold with T he w ith an offshore wind, or in a calm, is j black nnd tan dog, the owner of which, not add that tho man w’ho wears a cause it is wrongly thought to bo the called by the expressive name of a studies have suffered from tho combina senroest. It nas fetched prices reaohing “ made tie ” belongs in the outer dark tion. The world, in short, is full of W est at clubbing rates. just behind, seemed quite oblivious to ness of barbarism. It is gratifying also in France as high as 4,600 francs. The "«log, ” w h ile a w ell marked swell, roll middle aged men who would enjoy their her dog’s behavior. ing in independently of any blowing, is reason for tlie supposed rarity is of to noto that tho uso of the Tuxedo, or Seeing 1 hat the woman made no effort called a “ hom e.” “ There is no w in d ,” ’ middle age ever so much better if in lo call off the animal, the gentleman liouso coat, is earnestly recommended. course that, iusteud of bting placed on a Suffolk fisherman w ill say, “ but a tlieir youth they had found their way to its first appearance on the shelves of the turned upon his ¡xirsecutor auil adiuiu- I ' Since every complete bachelor w ill in nasty home on tho beach.” Suffolk men restaurants where snob delicacies, as lstorod a hearty kick, which made the variably dress fcr dinner, lie w ill find curious or the studious, the little vol also speak of the “ bark” of the surf, veal and ham pie, dressed crab, lobster, x'liomy recoil, w ith Hits tail between hit in the Tuxedo an economical and easy ume was thumbed to pieces by the and a sea covered w ith foam is spoken mayonnaise and encumbers were only substitute for the more rigorous full greasy hands of cooks and kitchen maids. legs anil a bind kiyi. of as “ feather white. ” Tho foam itself to be procured upon produetiau of a “ B rute,“ cried the woman, “ to kick dress coat, and ono that eau I ks worn Uenuiue enthusiasts in the printer’s art is known as “ spoon drift. ” So in tlie medical certificate of fitness to receive St little dog like that! Thut little crea not ouly at home, but in informal com buve hoped to see tlie price dimiuished vernacular w e have it, “ The sea was all I them.—London Graphio. ture, sir, is u pet mid is unused to such panies of gentlemen and at the theater In presence of the revelations lately a feather whito w ith spoon d rift.”— j Its market D ead 3 J a n ’ a C laim . treatment, ” nud she bestowed a freez or m a publie restaurant. We note that furnished concerning i t N otes and Queries. our author speaks a gixxl word for tho value, however, shows no signs of dim in g glance upon the offender. Among tho rich mines of Leadville is H e Said "Poke nnd I* van a .** | one called Dead Man’s Claim. It seems “ I beg your pardon, m a'am ,’’ replied block tio w ith a Tuxedo, though he does inution, and that one ropy, sold in Joe Cavan, who has had a whirlwind a certain popular miner had died, and lio. “ I did not mean to hurt your dog. not absolutely bar u white one. This is Englnnd during the last seven or eight You should have called him off when a question upon which no thoroughly years, fetched at isothi by’s on June 10, experience iu the south and west, said his friends, having decided to give him 1 lie was barking auil suuppiug at my satisfactory ruling lias ever been made. 1896, the sale being thut of the Earl of to the crowd in tho samu old plucc, the a good send off, hired a man for $20 to For our own part, wo think thut those Orford, the preposterous prioe of £100. up town hotel: heels. ” act as sexton. It was iu the midst of — Gentleman's Magazine. “ My advice to you all is, be natural. winter, there was ten feet of snow on "He would not have hurt yon, sir," 1 occasions whereon a man feels a w h ile tie incumbent also demand a “ swallor This monthly magazine is ono of the « | Do not try to deceive people w ith your the ground, and the grave had to go six replied the woman. “ He is a p et.” Muat C on q u er If T h ey W a n t S h e lte r . affected talk or in your clothes. You feet below that. The gravedigger sal I “ I diil not care to he bitten by him, ta il” coat. Tho toilet is not less important than The German soldier, s ys the Loudon w ill be certain to show the cloven foot lied forth into the snow, depositing the host printed in this country, and it* notwithstanding that fact, m a'am ,” re turned tho gentleman. “ I am some the dress. Scrupulous care in this re- News carries liis owu house on his back semewhere. I was at a dinner once in corpse for safe keeping in a drift, and to all subscribers a t rates within thing of a favorite at homo myself. ” — speet is certainly tho mark of a com — that is to say, his share of a shelter St. Louis. It was given by Governor for three days nothing was heard from plete bachelor. Thut a mail should take tent. Tho stout pieces of waterproof Muruiadr.ke. Before wo had given onr him. A delegation sent to find the fel Y outh’s Companion. ability of all to pay. I t is finely® his tub every morning gix-s without say sheeting ure joiued together so as to orders, for at a western dinner every low discovered him digging away with ing. At the same tim e (here is no need form three sides of a square, and the mail has the privilege of saying what he all his might, but found also the in T t i . I>i«g,ut«i<l C h in a m a n . trated and presents the names of fa® The police of San Francisco have re to insist upon the rigor of the game anil men are suved from the worst in wind wants, the governor asked each oue of tended grave converted into the entrance and rain. The idea of the shelter tent say th.,t tho water sh all he cold. Tepid his guests where he hailed from. One cently been enforcing the law prohibit’ of a shaft. Striking the eurth, it seems authors as contributors. T he irig work ou Bunday, especially aguinst water is best. “ Every man should learn iu sections is no new 0110. The French was from Tennessee, one from Illinois, he had found pay rack worth $00 a ton. to shave himself. ” These are golden had it many years ago in their ttnte one from California. The east was not The delegation at once staked outclainis and the Cosmopolitan are sold si Chinetw luundrynien. Last Sunday, as a large load of these offenders was being words. A hurber is occasioually neces d'abri. It has many advantages. It re represented, so I bunded in my card adjoining his, and the deceased was for sary no doubt, but there is something duces tbo baggage of the army, and it duced rates at this office. from Vermont. Just then the waiter gotten. Later iu the season, the snow carted to jad iu the police ambulance, » resident of the western Addition asked offensive to refined sensibilities iu the enables the so lu iertogoiiito lodgings at paused the bill of fare, and, my ruling having melted, his body was found and the reason and was informed by a po picture of a long row of men in chairs once on reaching the scene of tho passion asserting itself, ‘Poke and given an ordinary burial iu another part beans, ’ said I in my natural voice. liceman. " Y ep ,” grunted u disgusted having a part of their toilet performed. bivouac. of the camp.—Boston Journal. Troops often suffer miserable discom “ ‘Cavan, ’ said the governor of Mis- Ghinaiuan, who sttxxl near, ‘ 'man workee Our author «ays notliflig of the habit of Having boots blacked in the street, ju st fort in w aiting for hours for their heavy A T est o f C ourtesy. souri vehemently, ‘you're from Georgy. Sunday, he go ja il— 'gainst law workee It happened not long ago that I had Nunday. Mnn no workeo, he go jail— ly regarding it as one »0 hail as to he tents. The Germaus have no faith in No man from Vermont ever suid ‘poke uuspcakublo. Patent tooth powders, these cumbrous contrivances. They have and beans, ’ nud your scheme of passing occasion to request a friend to deliver vag. Amelieu heap h— 1 of couutly. washes, pomatums and nostrums of often scut whole armies into tlie field for a Yankee, sub, is reprehensible and an urgent letter for me. Tho letter con Argonaut. every kind arc condemned without re without any sort of shelter. Their tlie- | w ill cost yon the wine. ’ tained business of importance which I’ln l« >tr«*M<t W o u ld Do, serve. This, too, shows gixxl souse. The ory is thut if the men win u battle they “ I liavo sailed under my own colors wns private in its nature, as it conceru- The Lady nt the Kitchen Door— No, care of toilet articles is rightly insisted w ill find all they want in the towns and ever since.” —N ew York Sun. j cd a debt. To hand my friend a sealed I ’ve nothing fur yon. I find it very hard upon. A man cannot ho a complete villages, and that if they lose it they letter was to presuppose tliat he would to make both e n d s m eet these days. bachelor unless he is w ellin g to take w ill have no tim e to pitch tents. The T h e ir P e c u lia r A v e m lo t« . read it if open. To give it to him un Blizzard B ill— If youse w ill make some trouble. TI10 custom of weariug shelter tent stems a compromise be Most people have aversions of some sealed was to risk the possibility of a both cuds bread and never mind do the hair long is disapproved. tween theso views. kind or other, and some very strange third party reading it, for the exigen meat, I'll be puffckly satisfied, mum.— No point is tixi minute for the consid ones. The sight of a set of false teeth cies of life are many, aud letters arc Man'« n itte r e a t E n em y. Baltimore News. "We do not take possession of onr ideas but are possessed by then eration of this thoughtful writer The makes John L. Sullivan sick at the known to have been dropped. eti,¡nette of cards is a matter upon “ Sin is alw ays inau’s bitterest en stomach. Napoleou did not like to sec a I pondered, perplexed, but decided They master us and force ns into the arena, Anir»tl,«.«lu e n d 1’a b lle lty . which lamentable ignorance is often em y," writes D.viglit L. Mtxxly iu whito dog. Agnssiz could not bear to that courtesy was oue of the first laws Where like gladiators, we must fight for them.” Di’utixt (ax (lio patient opens his displayed, and in calling nnd dining “ Mr. Moody s Bible Class” iu the Lu- touch polished steel. Tlie sight of the of society and left the letter open. «yes)— It'» out. out there nro those who show tho lock dics' Home Journal. "It separates him rising tiKxiu, when it was full, always With an easy bow my friend received Such is the exalted motto of the Arena, and the P atient (still dizzy from tlie gas)— of bnxxling. The practice of grasping from his Maker. It separates liiui from made Mine, de Stael ill. Barefooted the note; then, seeiug the open flap of Yea, of course. 1 never got drunk iu my or squicziug the hand of a lady is (bar his fellow brings. No position is too children made Louis XIV nervous. Dean tbo envelope, instantly gummed it entire contents of this monthly magazine life that it didn't get o u t —Detroit ring exceptional circumstances) unad- high for sin to ¿chase; no place so hal Swift has said thut Boliugbroke would down. are ÿfawa. visable. “ A man removes his glove lowed but it sc, kt to corrupt; no home “ act like one bereft should he east his upon a plane and in keeping with its That, I said inwardly, is true cour from his right hand on entering the so sacred but it seeks to destroy. ’Sin, eye ou a poor, harmless toad.” Disraeli tesy. M uch l u a N m i » , motto. The Arena’s gallery of eminent drawing room, and holds this, with his like holiness, is a mighty leveler, ’ says had an attack of vertigo when he saw A ftr r a R eco rd . stick anil hat, in his left. The hat should a distinguished divine. Aud what may anybody chewing gum. Dickens never thiukew u a group of interesting men and "Strange,” told tlio man w ith the he at an angle, tho top about level with he the ouusoof the thousands of suicidos liked a stiff shirt bosom, and Buffon his nose. ” This is important. But some which have occurred during the pust would fly into a rage if any oue pnt an strong cigar absentmindedly. women, and their thoughts are worthy the thing more than mere ¡xiliteuess is re year if it is not a lonthiug of self? It is egg oil the diuiug table ut which he sat. "What's strange?” asked the man with the meerschaum. quired of the complete bachelor. His sin, then, winch makes a man loathe consideration of all people. The Arena is gooduess of heart w ill come out in his himself. It is sin which makes man's A R ou tb lark '» N ovel S ch em e. I wus li n k in g of a friend of mine The most enterprising bootblack In Wh? c1“"118 ,o huve au absolutely treatment of his servants. Though he life become u burden from which lie so sold with T he W est . " . . lias a perfect fountain nen pen. »• ’ y 1 must “ exercise an iron w ill,” he must often seeks to free him self by his own New Y'ork J- is a young negro who / I also • ’encourage them now and then by hand.” “ Always writes, never drips ink and stand ou Columbus avenue not far front / \ a kind word. ” Ana once in aw hile they the Natural History museum. His loca never gets ont of order?” O r t< l. o f H i. S lileaad d le. “ T hat’s what he says. ” x must have a holiday or some cast off tion is one w hich does not bring much The use of tho side saddle for women clothing. They, in their turn, should Tlie man with the meerschanm pipe transiont trade, but he has a goodlv Ixi "noiseless and automatic. ” Such riders is traced to the time of Aune of number of regular customers. Ou days shook his bead. "What do you think c f it?” he asked. things too many young men forget. Bohemia, eldest daughter of the emper wheu the weather looks threatening this "I hardly know what to think of i t With this Ixxik, however, they cannot or of Germany, who married Richard wise young man issues rain checks, gixxl go very far astray. They can learn how II of Engliiud. Previous to this dste all for 12 hours, so that if it rains and a H e’s joiued no liars’ club that I know to behave at dances and at country English women bestrode their horses iu customer's shine is ruined he gets a new of, and yet everything indicates that he houses and nt clubs. If it he objected manly fasinou, hut on account of a de one frew of charge The rain cheeks are is working for a record.” — Chicago that on tL # j subjects gentleiueu do not formity this German bride was forced slijis of paper with tlie date and hour insxl iustructiou, the retort is obvious. to use a side saddle, and the custom be written in pencil.— New York Press. Something New. Persons w hs sre not gentlemen have came gvuernl.— Pittsburg Dispatch. The Chicago Tiuies-Ht rald says that their ambitions and frequently try to be O f C ourse. W h . l H e A O h I F o r, a western gentleman lately found hit come complete bachelors. And since ■ First Small Boy— I wish I had that 6 new cook iu the drawing room, gazing A tramp tumbled out of a store, «texxl this is so, let ns be grateful for the rents back I »jx-ut for candy. w ith much interest at the aquarium mentor who is able to give them so ou his ear u moment and tiieu col Second bnn.ll Boy— What would you “ Well, Bidtlv.” said ti... genthman lunch excellent advice. — Providence lapsed iu a heap do with it? iu a kindly tone, “ what do you think of "Hello!" cn«d a bystander. "What’s “ Is your uew pony fast?” Journal. First Small B ey- Buy more candy.— them?” 01 the matltr? ’ ’ Yer; so fast that I ’ve named him Besti u Coun r. Bure, tor. ” answered the cook, "nn. “ Excuse me, pard, " said the va The father of biography was Plutarch <Yhut Ma Bays. ” on my soul, if they ain’t rale lovely! (M tica are generally agreed that the grant. "I jn d weul in there ami asked " T h at’s a queer name?” The conn • ti l-.onse fly lays four tim'W An. Ixgorra, perhaps yon wouldn't be- Philadel "Yea, but what ma says g«»-». ” — N ew tuixlel biography is that, of Johitaun, by that feller to help me out. in n a h i - t .i w r , each time aU u t SO l.3 o it, but this is the first time that I p h ia KecunL JBwivell. V Vprk Journal. fret Saw red herrings aBve before. ” And The JL F L T S a n d S C IE N C E S , » T Ü E "W E S T - Scientific American.. THE EnSfflnPniJTAH, the arena LOOK OVER THIS CROUI make your selection . THE WEST. FLORENCE. 01